Sexual Polarity, Part 2

As we discussed in part one of this topic, all sexuality is based in the interplay of polarity between the masculine and feminine. This flow of energy is natural and healthy, and should be embraced and enhanced in your sexual relationships if you are to keep the flames of sexual passion burning bright. Like two magnets, it is what draws men and women together into the thralls of unexplainable lust and attraction.

Unfortunately far too many people in the interest of political correctness, autonomy, politeness, and attempting to gain the approval of others are ashamed of amplifying sexual polarity and try to diminish the differences between the masculine and the feminine. This couldn’t be more counterproductive. In doing so they neutralize sexual polarity without ever realizing what they are doing and end up suppressing the desires of their own true sexual core. Denying your sexual core creates a contradiction within yourself between your actions and true desires, and results in the inability to relax and be receptive to the possibility of real love and connection. Essentially, to deny your sexual core is to deny love itself.  

Most of us have said at one time or another “it would be so much easier if women were more like men” or I wish I could understand my boyfriend like I understand my girlfriends.” The fact of the matter is that men and women, that is, the masculine and the feminine, are different. Accept it. Embrace it. It is exactly these differences that are the source of your attraction to the opposite sex (or more precisely, the opposite sexual essence.) The charge of the sexual polarity created by these differences is what keeps relationships fresh and rejuvenated. Some of these differences you will thrive on, and some of these differences will annoy the hell out of you, especially the more polarized you and your partner are, but to smooth out or numb yourself to the differences that annoy you will also diminish the very traits that attract you the most. This is the source of sexual depolarization, and since it is the polarity that rejuvenates the relationship, a depolarized relationship lacks any possibility for rejuvenation. The tragic result is that you are left with all the irritating qualities without the sexual charge, thus leaving you in a worse predicament than before. It is why couples become complacent with each other. It is why couples stop having sex. It is why partners seem to simply tolerate rather than inspire each other.

This depolarization and failed rejuvenation is often the primary reason why couples break up and relationships are terminated. Even when a relationship is allowed to continue after depolarization, what usually remains are two people who may love each other, be great friends, and good teammates, but haven’t had sex in months or years. The passion in their relationship has been neutralized because of the everyday rigors of life, family and career. This is a pattern we see all too often in today’s marriages and long-term relationships and frequently it is written off as being human nature. I disagree. It is the aftermath of denying our own sexual cores and desires and not prioritizing the sexual polarity in our relationships.

If your primary reason for entering into an intimate relationship is sexual passion then you must place a priority on that element. That does not mean you cannot still share other aspects of the relationship: friendship, parenting and financial partnerships, but the more you seek to focus on all of those, the less of any of them you end up with.  The different energies from each of these relational aspects will cancel each other out and you will eventually find yourself in a neutralized, mediocre partnership that lacks purpose and direction. As the masculine partner your gift to the feminine is your ability to clearly define the purpose of your relationship and keep it aligned on that path. This allows the feminine to be free to embrace and express her radiance and love…the gifts of the feminine. It is important to realize that you must do this through your actions, for words alone are not enough. This is key as it is the only way your partner can know that you are authentically masculine and feel the charge of the polarity you are creating by being so.

So what is the solution to creating, maintaining and enhancing sexual polarity? Be diligent in emphasizing rather than apologizing for your masculine traits: direction of purpose, decisiveness, leadership, courage, and competitiveness. Basically, be unafraid to be a man and don’t fall off of that path. Simultaneously, rather than attempting to diminish or change your partner’s irritating gendered qualities, embrace and cultivate the differences between the masculine and feminine. Broaden the scope of those differences, which in turn will intensify the polarity and create (or rejuvenate) attraction and sexual chemistry. This amplification of polarity is especially important during times of intimacy and flirting. In fact, it is primal to those elements for passion to continuously flow between the two of you.

Allow your partner (or any potential partner) to be the mysterious feminine enigma, the force of rejuvenating energy and love. Admire her for being the feminine creature that she is. Relieve her from having to tap into her masculine side so she can be true to her own sexual essence. Just like you, she cannot constantly live outside of her core sexual essence without ultimately being unfulfilled sexually and spiritually. Women from all walks of life are starving to be liberated from the masculine need to live a life of reason and control so they can fully personify their feminine core, even if for only a short time. Give her the gift of being able to lean on your solid masculine character like it’s a rock, allowing her to fully embrace her femininity. It is the one gift you can give her that she cannot give herself. She will in return invigorate your heart with her invigorating feminine energy and inspire your passion. She will be your muse, and together you will cultivate your connection of heart. Believe me when I tell you,  the rewards are well worth the cost.


Other articles you may enjoy:

 Sexual Polarity, Part 1

Lessons About Women I Would Teach My Younger Self

Eye Contact Part 3: The Look of Love


One Comment on “Sexual Polarity, Part 2”

  1. cynthia says:


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