Is Your Judgment Hurting Your Sex Life?

Over the years I have spent a considerable amount of time talking to women about all aspects of dating, relationships and sex. To my dismay one of the most common themes I still hear is that if a woman sleeps with a guy too soon he won’t call her back. To counteract this women will avoid sleeping with a guy on a first date even when they want to. This is especially true when the woman sees the guy as relationship material, and thus she becomes even more demure. This dysfunctional dating strategy can be solely attributed to women’s fear of the stigma that men attach to such behavior, namely that they will be viewed as “sluts” who will sleep with anyone. While this mindset at first seems completely antiquated, it turns out that there are still a lot of men who actually believe this and do not call these girls back for second dates, thus proving the ladies’ point. My point here: these guys are missing the boat.

It has been over 40 years since the sexual revolution began, yet men today are still losing respect for women when they have sex with them early on in their interaction. What’s the deal here? Is this the 1950s? Clearly there is a double standard that exists between male and female sexuality in our society: men are admired for expressing their sexuality whereas women are defamed for it. This gendered double standard has since shaped the social perceptions of modern dating, with the result being its current dysfunctional state. Sure, I could spend time here going into all the sociological and psychological reasons why this double standard exists, but instead I’d rather enlighten you to the fallacy of this thinking and reveal a whole other world of possibilities with women this belief is holding you back from experiencing.   Read the rest of this entry »