Body language. The very notion that our bodies are secretly communicating to each other is mysterious, sexy and intriguing. At the same time most of us walk through the world without ever being consciously aware of what exactly our bodies are saying. While body language may seem enigmatic or even bizarre, it is very real and quite reliable. The good news is that it is not all that hard to comprehend once you have the basic code. Once you do all of your interactions will take on new dimensions of meaning and you will be well on your way to much greater social acuity and effectiveness. Not only will you communicate more clearly and confidently, you will also be able to interpret the exact messages that others are sending with surprising accuracy.
Over the next several articles here at Evolution:Male I will break down body language into several more digestible subtopics that we can delve deeper into. While this series will be far from a comprehensive look at the subject, it will provide you with a strong foundation in understanding the subtleties of body language and the tools to effectively apply that knowledge into your social interactions. Read the rest of this entry »
Once upon a time two single men sat together at a bar catching up with each other’s life. The first man complained how there were no quality available women out there. He ranted on about how all single women were neurotic or messed up, that the ones he was attracted to were flakes and the few he did date fade away soon thereafter. The second man sat there and listened curiously to the first man as he vented on and on, telling his tale. Once the first man finally paused in his frustration, the second man said in a consoling voice “Hang in there mate, you’ll meet the right one someday.” Soon thereafter the second man kindly excused himself. “You’re going already?” asked the first man. “Yea, unfortunately I have to roll. I’m completely inundated today…I have a date waiting, a party to attend and some other friends to meet up with after that. It’s crazy!”
When it comes down to it, there are two kinds of single people in the world. The first kind is very much like the first man. They are single by circumstance, and thus unhappy, insecure and often jaded by their situation. They see being single from a perspective rife with anxiety; as the worst of times that will only be alleviated by uniting with another partner and thus relieving their unease. This anxiety is not entirely unfounded however, for it is not only singles that view their status with such disdain, but rather society as a whole. Being single is generally seen as an incomplete existence and not as a viable (or even acceptable) life choice. People who are single are often looked upon as victims of circumstance in need of sympathy or even worse, as if there is something wrong with them. Fortunately there is another option. Read the rest of this entry »
If there is any one thing you can do to increase the quality of your life, it is to become an interesting person. This is not only good for your own state of mind, it also makes you highly charismatic, potentially increases the quality of other’s lives when they interact with you and certainly sets you apart from the vast majority of men most women date.
Most people do not consider themselves interesting, remarkable or remotely out of the ordinary. While I rarely find this to be true (most people are simply bad at advertising how they are interesting), the reality is that if you don’t believe you are a fascinating individual, you will have a hard time projecting anything otherwise. For that reason, if you feel like you are dull or boring it is up to you, and you alone, to change that.
The world is a big place, but it is easy for your world to get very small if you follow your same routine day after day. We all at times want an easy, care-free life, and it is easy to take the path of least resistance, but it is also boring. You may not feel the tolls of boredom in the moment, but eventually it will pang at you and drag you down into utter mediocrity, and that is not where you want to be if you want to live a remarkable life. Now if you abhor change, eat the same meal every day and only like vanilla ice cream, these suggestions may not appeal to you. However, if you want to taste all the spices that life has to offer then by all means read on. Read the rest of this entry »
Confidence. All men want it, all women are attracted to it. Like it or not, your confidence is the single biggest factor when it comes to being a charismatic man and opening up the doors to almost anything you want in life. With a healthy dose of it your potential will seem boundless. Conversely, without some degree of confidence you are doomed to a life of mediocrity and boredom.
When it comes to confidence most people struggle to provide a tangible definition, much less know how to acquire it. When asked, most of us tend to describe confidence by its attributes rather than defining it, similar to the way Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once defined pornography…we simply know it when we see it. That being the case, allow me to propose for our purposes here the following definition:
Con ⋅ fi ⋅ dence (n.) – a belief of self-assurance in your ability to succeed.
Now that we have a definition easy enough for us all to digest, how exactly does one go about building confidence? That is another issue altogether and a question I hear a lot. Fortunately the answer is also relatively simple: to gain confidence you must take action in the face of fear. In other words, you must demonstrate courage. Read the rest of this entry »
Make no mistake about it: as guys we like collecting tools. This can be seen in our fascination with tech gadgets, sport gear for whatever activity we aspire to, as well as learning tools such as books, CD/DVD courses and seminars. There is something in the masculine problem-solving psyche that causes men to be obsessed with not only collecting tools, but having the perfect tool instantly accessible for any contingency. Unfortunately many guys get so caught up in having the right tools for the job that they never even get to the job at hand. There is always one more device to acquire, one more book to read, one more thing to know, and THEN they will have everything they need to succeed. Meanwhile the sands of time continue to fall and their life is passing them by.
Sound familiar? Is your garage full of top-notch gear for an activity that you have rarely, if ever, done? Do you have more books, e-books, audio programs and instructional DVDs (perhaps some never cracked opened) than you could possibly go through in your lifetime? Do you feel like you have to acquire “just one more ____” before you can move forward with any given task? Sure, there are some jobs that require precise tools, and it is nice to have a whole garage or library of them at hand to solve any problem at any moment, but waiting to acquire them before taking action is not the path to success but rather a form of procrastination known as perfection paralysis. Read the rest of this entry »
Resolutions. Most of us think about them this time of year, perhaps even make these well-intentioned promises to ourselves, but by the end of January the vast majority are either forgotten or surrendered. Another year passes by and that next December we make those same resolutions again, telling ourselves “this year will be different”, only to delude ourselves yet again. It is a vicious cycle of rising optimism followed by diminishing willpower, self-reproach and deflated esteem.
Nestled among thirteen different definitions in my dictionary is the meaning of the term resolution as it traditionally applies in our culture on this holiday: “a firm decision to do something”. While your resolution may be a firm decision, what exactly backs that decision up? Is it the thin veneer of newly found confidence beneath a core of well-practiced uncertainty or self doubt that you are putting our faith in? Are you simply taking advantage of the socially accepted do-over? Do you really believe this is finally the year that you will lose those pounds, quit that job or habit you loathe or act on that dream you’ve intended on pursuing for the past decade? What is different about today from yesterday that suddenly gives you the magic ability to change? Read the rest of this entry »