Body language. The very notion that our bodies are secretly communicating to each other is mysterious, sexy and intriguing. At the same time most of us walk through the world without ever being consciously aware of what exactly our bodies are saying. While body language may seem enigmatic or even bizarre, it is very real and quite reliable. The good news is that it is not all that hard to comprehend once you have the basic code. Once you do all of your interactions will take on new dimensions of meaning and you will be well on your way to much greater social acuity and effectiveness. Not only will you communicate more clearly and confidently, you will also be able to interpret the exact messages that others are sending with surprising accuracy.
Over the next several articles here at Evolution:Male I will break down body language into several more digestible subtopics that we can delve deeper into. While this series will be far from a comprehensive look at the subject, it will provide you with a strong foundation in understanding the subtleties of body language and the tools to effectively apply that knowledge into your social interactions. Read the rest of this entry »
Once upon a time two single men sat together at a bar catching up with each other’s life. The first man complained how there were no quality available women out there. He ranted on about how all single women were neurotic or messed up, that the ones he was attracted to were flakes and the few he did date fade away soon thereafter. The second man sat there and listened curiously to the first man as he vented on and on, telling his tale. Once the first man finally paused in his frustration, the second man said in a consoling voice “Hang in there mate, you’ll meet the right one someday.” Soon thereafter the second man kindly excused himself. “You’re going already?” asked the first man. “Yea, unfortunately I have to roll. I’m completely inundated today…I have a date waiting, a party to attend and some other friends to meet up with after that. It’s crazy!”
When it comes down to it, there are two kinds of single people in the world. The first kind is very much like the first man. They are single by circumstance, and thus unhappy, insecure and often jaded by their situation. They see being single from a perspective rife with anxiety; as the worst of times that will only be alleviated by uniting with another partner and thus relieving their unease. This anxiety is not entirely unfounded however, for it is not only singles that view their status with such disdain, but rather society as a whole. Being single is generally seen as an incomplete existence and not as a viable (or even acceptable) life choice. People who are single are often looked upon as victims of circumstance in need of sympathy or even worse, as if there is something wrong with them. Fortunately there is another option. Read the rest of this entry »
Mike: Where’s Jeff?
Scott: I don’t know. Haven’t seen him in weeks.
Brian: Haven’t you heard? He has a new girlfriend.
Mike & Scott: (simultaneously) Oohhh.
Mike: I guess we’ll see him in a couple of months when she dumps him.
For many of us this scene is all too familiar. We’ve all had a friend like Jeff who puts the woman he’s dating ahead of everything else in his life. Maybe it has even been you. If it is, I urge you to cease and desist immediately and vow never to do so again. Not because it is good for your friends, but because it is good for you, your gal and your relationship.
When you drop everything on your plate for a woman, not only will you irritate all of your friends and family, you will also frustrate your date to the point where she will either own you or eventually leave you in the dust (if not both!) While this seems counterintuitive and goes against what many of us have been taught by society regarding chivalry and romance, doing so could not be more counterproductive. Contrary to what a woman may say, deep down she does not truly want to be a man’s number one priority. Read the rest of this entry »
If there is any one thing you can do to increase the quality of your life, it is to become an interesting person. This is not only good for your own state of mind, it also makes you highly charismatic, potentially increases the quality of other’s lives when they interact with you and certainly sets you apart from the vast majority of men most women date.
Most people do not consider themselves interesting, remarkable or remotely out of the ordinary. While I rarely find this to be true (most people are simply bad at advertising how they are interesting), the reality is that if you don’t believe you are a fascinating individual, you will have a hard time projecting anything otherwise. For that reason, if you feel like you are dull or boring it is up to you, and you alone, to change that.
The world is a big place, but it is easy for your world to get very small if you follow your same routine day after day. We all at times want an easy, care-free life, and it is easy to take the path of least resistance, but it is also boring. You may not feel the tolls of boredom in the moment, but eventually it will pang at you and drag you down into utter mediocrity, and that is not where you want to be if you want to live a remarkable life. Now if you abhor change, eat the same meal every day and only like vanilla ice cream, these suggestions may not appeal to you. However, if you want to taste all the spices that life has to offer then by all means read on. Read the rest of this entry »
Confidence. All men want it, all women are attracted to it. Like it or not, your confidence is the single biggest factor when it comes to being a charismatic man and opening up the doors to almost anything you want in life. With a healthy dose of it your potential will seem boundless. Conversely, without some degree of confidence you are doomed to a life of mediocrity and boredom.
When it comes to confidence most people struggle to provide a tangible definition, much less know how to acquire it. When asked, most of us tend to describe confidence by its attributes rather than defining it, similar to the way Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once defined pornography…we simply know it when we see it. That being the case, allow me to propose for our purposes here the following definition:
Con ⋅ fi ⋅ dence (n.) – a belief of self-assurance in your ability to succeed.
Now that we have a definition easy enough for us all to digest, how exactly does one go about building confidence? That is another issue altogether and a question I hear a lot. Fortunately the answer is also relatively simple: to gain confidence you must take action in the face of fear. In other words, you must demonstrate courage. Read the rest of this entry »
Imagine this scenario…you find yourself sitting in front of an amazing woman. A woman who is so intoxicating and fascinating in your eyes, your only desire is to get closer to her. You know you want her to approve of you, be impressed by you, and dammit, you want her to like you. As your conversation progresses you suddenly hear yourself agreeing with her opinions, ones you have staunchly opposed in the past, or out of the blue you tell her you’ll take her to the ballet…and you loathe the ballet! You soon realize you’d do just about anything to keep her from growing cold toward you. You diligently strive to be agreeable, placating and may even say or do things completely out of your character (for better or worse) because you see these actions as the path toward greater intimacy. The scenario may vary: she could be a newfound beauty you want to impress, a date you cautiously avoid conflict with, or even a long-term partner with whom you are on the rocks, but in any case your emotions and actions are the same. Now fast-forward a few months. How’d that end up working out for you?
The reality is that, in one way or another, this strategy of conciliation never works. Women almost always see right through it, especially when it is coupled with any degree of neediness. Even if it does get past her initial filter, she now expects you to be congruent in your words and actions from here on out. If you are not, eventually you will be found out by her and inevitably face the consequences. If you are able to maintain this façade, you will be living a lie that slowly eats away at you from the inside out, ultimately leading to regretting her and causing greater conflict than which you were trying to avoid in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »