Breaking The Cycle Of Bad Relationships

Guy getting dumped

 

Do you find yourself frequently in and out of relationships, only to get to a certain point before they terminate? Perhaps you are dating the same partner over and over again, only they happen to have a different name and address? If you are like most people, you very likely are running the same relational scripts over and over again expecting new results. Albert Einstein once described such behavior as insanity. The fact is there are specific skills needed to make any relationship work, and so often they are only learned through hard and painful experiences, if learned at all. In western society we are not formally taught relationship skills and often our parents, siblings, friends or other role models are still trying to figure it all out themselves. Unless we seek out qualified help we are left to fend for ourselves when it comes to each relational minefield. This is where I come in. Like any other skill, the secret to relationship mastery is to learn and adapt accordingly to each individual situation. That said, I give you the following five key principles to prevent your next relationship from following down the same path as your previous ones. Read the rest of this entry »


Lessons About Women I Would Teach My Younger Self

We’ve all at some point wished we could go back in time armed with our current wisdom and reengineer our past experiences. We tell ourselves “if I only knew then what I know now, things would have been so different!” Certainly there is great truth in this sentiment, but it is foolish to live in the past mired in regret. Fortunately the lessons of our past are just as useful in our lives today, but if not properly learned, lived and fully internalized they can be just as painful as before. Looking back at yourself five, ten or twenty years, what would you tell yourself about people, relationships, confidence and social acuity? What lessons do you wish you had learned earlier to save yourself heartache, stress and pain? Which of those lessons do you need to further implement into your present life in order to live at your full potential? If I could go back and mentor my younger self I would enlighten myself with the following six lessons in interacting with women, the lessons I wish I had known in my youth, and the ones that I feel are the most important to realizing your full relational potential as a man.

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How To Be Interesting

If there is any one thing you can do to increase the quality of your life, it is to become an interesting person. This is not only good for your own state of mind, it also makes you highly charismatic, potentially increases the quality of other’s lives when they interact with you and certainly sets you apart from the vast majority of men most women date.

Most people do not consider themselves interesting, remarkable or remotely out of the ordinary. While I rarely find this to be true (most people are simply bad at advertising how they are interesting), the reality is that if you don’t believe you are a fascinating individual, you will have a hard time projecting anything otherwise. For that reason, if you feel like you are dull or boring it is up to you, and you alone, to change that.

The world is a big place, but it is easy for your world to get very small if you follow your same routine day after day. We all at times want an easy, care-free life, and it is easy to take the path of least resistance, but it is also boring. You may not feel the tolls of boredom in the moment, but eventually it will pang at you and drag you down into utter mediocrity, and that is not where you want to be if you want to live a remarkable life. Now if you abhor change, eat the same meal every day and only like vanilla ice cream, these suggestions may not appeal to you. However, if you want to taste all the spices that life has to offer then by all means read on.  Read the rest of this entry »


Take the lead…it’s your job!

How many times have you had this conversation with your partner?:

Her: “What would you like to do tonight, honey?”

Him: “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

Her: “I don’t know. Whatever you want to do is fine.”

Him: “No, really, I want you to be happy. What ever you want is fine with me.”

Her: Ugh!!!

This all to familiar exchange seems benign enough to most men, but often is a source of frustration for women everywhere. Why? Because you are not doing your job as a man in the relationship: to lead.

Exchanges like this may be fine when they occur between friends, but they do not play out well between intimate partners. Friends naturally have a concern for fairness and the independence of each other, but the primary aspiration between intimate partners is not fairness or independence but rather sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is created out of the polarity between the masculine and the feminine and is required in order to maintain the spark and passion in the relationship.

As a man, by leading the interaction you are demonstrating the masculine side of this equation. It is this demonstration of masculinity that allows a woman to relax in your presence and be feminine. As a result the woman doesn’t have to take on any bit of the masculine role because she knows she’s in the presence of a real man, and thus sexual chemistry is ignited. This is true at all stages of the relationship, but it is especially important in the beginning stages of dating. In fact, leading is often what gets you the date in the first place.   Read the rest of this entry »