Body language. The very notion that our bodies are secretly communicating to each other is mysterious, sexy and intriguing. At the same time most of us walk through the world without ever being consciously aware of what exactly our bodies are saying. While body language may seem enigmatic or even bizarre, it is very real and quite reliable. The good news is that it is not all that hard to comprehend once you have the basic code. Once you do all of your interactions will take on new dimensions of meaning and you will be well on your way to much greater social acuity and effectiveness. Not only will you communicate more clearly and confidently, you will also be able to interpret the exact messages that others are sending with surprising accuracy.
Over the next several articles here at Evolution:Male I will break down body language into several more digestible subtopics that we can delve deeper into. While this series will be far from a comprehensive look at the subject, it will provide you with a strong foundation in understanding the subtleties of body language and the tools to effectively apply that knowledge into your social interactions. Read the rest of this entry »
In the past two posts we’ve discussed using eye contact in the context of building interpersonal connections and creating attraction with others that we don’t know. Today I want to discuss using eye contact to amplify the attraction and emotional bond you already have with those you care about. The techniques here can be used very effectively to build intimacy, trust and love with anyone you know and like, but are especially powerful when used between you and your intimate partner.
The eyes have perhaps inspired more poetry and prose than any other subject, specifically because they are so closely tied to intimacy and our perceptions of love and passion. The sheer number of metaphors dedicated to the eyes filling volumes of pages certainly attests to the universal emotional power that they evoke. But there is truth in fiction here: academic studies have consistently shown eye contact to be the single most common theme in accounts of people falling in love across a variety of cultures. It seems that people all across the world get lost in the eyes of their lovers during moments of passion, blissfully swimming in the tide of emotions they see within them.
The fact is that eye contact between two lovers is the foundation of the dance of intimacy. For this reason it is crucial to nurture this connection in your intimate relationships. The more eye contact you have with your partner, the deeper the intimacy will develop. If eye contact is neglected however, intimacy will slowly diminish and eventually be starved out altogether. Just like your physical body, relationships need to be fed and tended to, and eye contact is the nourishment that allows relational intimacy and connection to blossom and flourish. The most effective way to nourish this intimacy is to take the time to practice deliberate prolonged eye contact. Read the rest of this entry »
We’ve all seen it before. Two people meet eyes across a crowded room. All the distractions of the environment seem to fade out. The focus on each other is intense. A Carpenters song starts playing in the background. This is Hollywood’s cliché way of reproducing a moment that happens a million times a day all across the world. Yet when it actually does happen to us it feels magical and exclusive, a moment destined to be. What many of us don’t realize is that this moment is happening all the time, only we fail to recognize it.
Eye contact is traditionally how people first reveal their attraction towards each other. Sure there are plenty of interesting and clever, if not cheesy ways to meet that stranger we are attracted to, yet a dance of intimate glances followed by a basic introduction is still how most people connect. It works just as well today as it always has, and why shouldn’t it? The attraction mechanisms in our brains predate internet dating, singles mixers, happy hour, nightclubs, pickup lines, dowries, or even language by a long shot. Sometimes simple, tried and true traditions work best. Read the rest of this entry »
As the famous proverb goes, the eyes are the window to the soul. We feel the truth in this statement whenever we look into the eyes of another and emotionally connect to their passions, intentions, loves and fears. There is a sense of exposure when we gaze into the eyes of another, as if we are standing naked in front of them, confronted with our vulnerability. Like the picture that says a thousand words, our eyes are able to express our entire emotional palate and reveal our true inner state.
In a world full of disconnected and non-confrontational means of communication, the ability to hold strong eye contact with another person is one of the most important and yet overlooked social skills. This is tragic as it is the most powerful of all our nonverbal communication elements (which make up more than half of the messages we are sending) and how most people reveal their attraction towards one another. Here we’ll explore a three-part discussion on eye contact, specifically how it is used in our everyday interpersonal interactions, in creating attraction, and in developing greater intimacy with your partner. Read the rest of this entry »