Do you find yourself frequently in and out of relationships, only to get to a certain point before they terminate? Perhaps you are dating the same partner over and over again, only they happen to have a different name and address? If you are like most people, you very likely are running the same relational scripts over and over again expecting new results. Albert Einstein once described such behavior as insanity. The fact is there are specific skills needed to make any relationship work, and so often they are only learned through hard and painful experiences, if learned at all. In western society we are not formally taught relationship skills and often our parents, siblings, friends or other role models are still trying to figure it all out themselves. Unless we seek out qualified help we are left to fend for ourselves when it comes to each relational minefield. This is where I come in. Like any other skill, the secret to relationship mastery is to learn and adapt accordingly to each individual situation. That said, I give you the following five key principles to prevent your next relationship from following down the same path as your previous ones. Read the rest of this entry »
Do you find yourself doing things for people you don’t actually want to be doing? Perhaps you felt like you were roped or guilted into it, or worse yet you were doing said action to win approval from the other person, knowingly or otherwise. We have many names for guys who exhibit these behaviors: the pushover, wuss, wimp or patsy (and several others I’ll spare your virgin eyes from.) Though the names are all different, the heart of the issue is the same. It is simply an issue of not adhering to personal boundaries.
Personal boundaries are the place where you differentiate yourself from others and hold true to your values, beliefs and desires. They are essentially the limits of acceptable behavior you establish for yourself and those around you. Boundaries also define the relationships you have with everyone outside of yourself and are the foundation of your personal integrity and power. As a mature man you must take the responsibility for defining and maintaining your personal boundaries, as they are a hallmark of a strong masculine character. Read the rest of this entry »